Rx for Infant
Who Can’t Sleep Through Night

By T. Berry Brazelton

Question: Could you please offer some advice for my niece’s first baby who is 4 months old, breast- fed and is gaining weight well but just doesn’t sleep?
He sleeps for a two-hour period overnight and a maximum of 30 minutes two times during the day. She has seen his primary care provider and gone for an evaluation for his colic, and no medical problems were found.
-- via e-mail
Answer: A 4-month-old is more likely to fall asleep if he’s put to sleep in the same place, at the same time, with a regular routine of relaxing rituals leading up to quiet time and bedtime.
Many babies who have trouble sleeping are hyperalert and hypersensitive, so parents will want to avoid overdoing their ministrations.
Babies need a dark, quiet room for sleeping -- no TV and little stimulation by those around him as bedtime approaches.
Blackout curtains might help if he’s sensitive to light, and his parents could try a “white noise” machine or a CD of monotonous lullabies.
When he awakens, a quiet, repetitive story or song, but not a lot of jiggling, bouncing and dancing, will help him get the message.
If he can’t sleep and cries out when left alone, parents can go to him to sit next to him.
They can gently pat his back and croon to him.
But don’t do too much -- it will keep him awake and teach him to stay awake so he can get more.
As your niece sorts out the sleeplessness and colic with her pediatrician, rally as much support for her as you can.
The whole family will need as much backup as they can get.

The Middle Years

Middle Schoolers Need Parents More Than Ever

By Bethany H. Langdon

Parent involvement is important to the educational success of a young adolescent, but it generally declines when a child enters the middle grades.
Parent involvement includes awareness of a child’s schoolwork and a commitment to consistent communication with educators about student progress.
Studies show that parental involvement leads to:
w Improved academic performance
w Better student behavior
w Improved school attendance
w Student emotional well-being

Involvement in your child’s education can take many forms, including:
* Discussing your children’s progress with teachers.
* Voting in school board elections.
* Becoming an advocate for better education in your community and state.
* Talking with your child about what happens at school every day. Ask often if there are messages from the school.
* Spending relaxed time with your children. Share a meal or a snack. Tell them often what you like about them.
* Listening to and sharing their worries. Support what you believe to be good about the school and offer your help to change any school practices that you believe could be harmful to your child.
* Avoiding scoldings and arguments when your child brings home bad news. Listen to their reasons and offer your help to improve the situation.

In addition, parents can help by encouraging homework and reading.
Help your children choose a good time and place to do their assignments and special projects.
Provide the necessary materials and give them your unconditional support.

Source: National Middle School Association. www.nmsa.org

The Teen Years

Help Your Teen End
an Abusive Relationship

Teens in abusive situations need the support of their parents, who can play an important role in ending teen dating abuse.
Even in the rockiest parent-teen relationships, the advice of a parent can make a dramatic difference in a teen’s life.
For that reason, it’s imperative that you familiarize yourself with the warning signs of dating abuse and what you can do to help.
A teen experiencing abuse may become isolated from friends, lose interest in school activities or other hobbies, wear clothing inappropriate for the weather in order to hide marks, and spend excessive amounts of time with his/her partner.
If you notice changes in your teen’s behavior, talk to your teen.
Be sure to ask open-ended questions about your teen’s life.
Then, listen with an open mind and support your teen as she considers her options.
Even if your teen has decided a relationship is abusive or unhealthy, ending it may not be easy.
Although a teen may feel pressure from friends and family to break up with the boyfriend/girlfriend and move on, it usually doesn’t feel that simple.
If your teen is scared to end the relationship, take that fear seriously.
Ending a relationship with an abusive or controlling person is different from ending a healthy relationship.
If safety is a concern, advise your teen not to break up in person.
However, if your teen decides to break up in person, recommend the break-up take place in a public place.
Encourage your teen to be direct and to avoid explaining more than once the reasons for ending the relationship. Nothing can be said that will make the “ex” happy about the breakup.
Inform friends, family members, school counselors and teachers of what is happening to form a network of support.
If your teen ever feels immediate danger, call 911.

Bluegrass Domestic Violence Program, Inc. is committed to ending intimate partner abuse and its impact on families. Info: 24-hour confidential crisis line: 800-544-2022.