Seeking Support is Crucial During Mourning Process

The death of someone you love changes your life forever and can be a long and painful journey.

From their experiences helping families cope with loss, Milward Funeral Directors has learned the importance of grieving and mourning.

Milward offers two monthly support groups to guide individuals who have lost a loved one.

Each group learns about the “Ten Essential Touchstones” as described by Dr. Alan Wolfelt in his book, “Understanding Your Grief.”

Wolfelt is an internation-ally noted author, educator and grief counselor with a doctorate degree. He is the  director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition in Colorado.

“We all grieve when someone we love dies, but if we are to heal, we must also mourn,” said Dr. Wolfeldt, referring to mourning as an active process.

Dr. Wolfelt identifies the following as the six steps in the journey through grief:

1. Acknowledge the reality of the death.
2. Embrace the pain of loss.
3. Remember the person who died through memories.
4. Develop a new self-identity.
When someone close to you dies, the way you see yourself naturally changes, and there is a need to adopt a new identity.
5. Search for meaning.
Ask “How” and “Why” questions.
6. Receive ongoing support from others.

Friends, fellow mourners and professional counselors can help. Don’t try to grieve alone.

According to Joey Tucker, funeral director at Milward Funeral Directors, “Individuals who have participated in a support group at Milward Funeral Directors said that they could not have made it through the grief journey without the encouragement and support they received from fellow mourners, grief counselor and funeral directors.”

It’s important to remember that people do not “get over” grief, Dr. Wolfelt said.

But people can find a new reality and move forward, which is called reconciliation.

In reconciliation, the sharp, ever-present pain of grief gives rise to a renewed sense of meaning and purpose.

Feelings of loss will not completely disappear but will soften.

Hope for a continued life will emerge as you realize that the person who died will never be forgotten.

“Be patient and compas-sionate with yourself as you work through your journey,” Dr. Wolfelt said. “Grief is an intensely personal, unique experience.”

Support Group Schedule at Milward Funeral Directors

• 391 Southland Dr: 6:30 p.m., third Monday of month.
• 1509 Trent Blvd: 6:30 p.m., third Tuesday of month.

Info: 859-276-1415 or 859-272-3414.