Memory Café Connects Caregivers

Walking into the Memory Café in the basement of the Alzheimer’s Association office, you can hear the laughter and chatter from the hallway.

Cookies, coffee and supplies for a craft are spread out as older adults sit and chat about grandchildren, sports and upcoming holidays.

This meeting resembles any other social group one might find at a senior center, but with one difference – half the people in the room are living with a memory impairment disease.

The Memory Café is a social group for people with memory loss and their caregivers. It’s not a support group and it’s not respite care, said April Stauffer, Community Outreach Coordinator for the Alzheimer’s Association. And that’s what makes this group unique.

“It’s a social engagement group,” Stauffer said. “We don’t bring up the disease because some people don’t realize they have it. I’ve had caregivers say this is the only thing that brings out the joy in their partner each month.”

The Memory Café began meeting in 2011 as a collaboration between the Alzheimer’s Association and the UK Sanders Brown Center on Aging.

New participants are asked to RSVP and do a brief screening. The group is designed for people in the early to middle stages of dementia and their spouses, partners, adult children or another loved one filling a caregiver role.

The “Memory Café Crew,” as April affectionately calls the group, meets every second Monday of the month. The meetings have themes such as holiday crafts, pet therapy, chair exercise and antique cars to name a few recent topics.

The structure is loose and casual, which is how the attendees like it.

Nancy Bailey was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease three years ago. She is quiet during the Café meetings but smiles constantly.

Nancy and her husband of 52 years, Gene, have attended as regulars for the past two years.

Gene and Nancy used to love to attend basketball games together and to travel. After her diagnosis, their usual outings weren’t feasible anymore. Gene looks to the Memory Café to be their source of socialization.

“It’s a time we get to see other people,” he said. “It gives us a break for a couple of hours.”

Kelly Parsons, Family Caregiver Coordinator for UK Sanders Brown Center on Aging, co-leads the meetings with Stauffer. She sees the Memory Café as a way to combat isolation.

“Caregivers can connect here in an intimate setting,” she said. “It’s not a lecture or workshop. The peer-to-peer interaction is so important because they learn from each other.”

While memory loss is not a topic of conversation, caregivers can casually ask for advice or leads on resources for their loved one. It may be as simple as finding someone to help with housework, where to find respite care, or asking how to handle certain behaviors from a memory-impaired spouse.

“I think it’s most beneficial to the caregiver,” Gene said. “It’s a good way to listen, to hear some issues you also deal with and maybe help each other out.”

At the end of the October meeting, hugs and handshakes were exchanged as if it were a group of old friends parting. One caregiver shared his phone number with another and bid farewell by saying, “Call me anytime.”

Connection made.

The Memory Café meets the second Monday of the month, 2-4 p.m. at 2808 Palumbo Drive, in the basement. Call April at 266-5283 x8179 to RSVP.