Lexington Family/ Parenting Questions/ Positive Parenting

Is Your Child Ready To Stay Home Alone?

You need a gallon of milk. When is your child old enough to stay home alone while you run a quick errand? Go out for dinner? Staying home alone is an important milestone for every child, and for every parent.

When your child is able to feel safe and confident alone, that can be empowering for both of you!

States vary about the age at which children can legally be left alone, ranging from 8 years to 14 years. Some states, like Kentucky, don’t have a minimum age and depend on parents to use their best judgement. Developmentally, most children are not ready before the age of 10.

Most importantly, you need to be able to trust your child to handle the responsibility and to follow house rules even when you are absent. It is a good idea to start small and to involve your child in planning.

Before you go to get that gallon of milk or make a dinner date, what should you do?

  • Assess your child’s level of confidence and talk with him about it.
  • Teach her:
    • When and how to call 911
    • What to do if someone comes to the door
    • What to say or do if you have a phone call.
  • Provide him a list of friends or neighbors and their phone numbers.
  • Create an agreement about:
    • Having friends over
    • Using the Internet, television or electronics
    • Using the kitchen
    • Playing outside
    • Checking in with you.
  • Make your house safe by
    • Putting parental controls in place on electronics
    • Checking smoke alarms
    • Keeping doors locked
    • Locking up guns, medications and alcohol
    • Being sure there is a charged, working phone available

Start with short periods of time (30 minutes or so) and gradually increase. If there are younger children, you must consider their age and maturity as well.

When in doubt, hire a sitter. Build trust between you and your child. Verify when necessary. Call when you say you will and come home on time.

You are helping your children take steps toward their own independence, and that’s something for all of you to be proud of.

Dr. Lesley Iwinski is the mother of three grown children, a family physician and owner of Growing Peaceful Families, LLC. She offers classes, workshops and seminars. Info: (859) 333-3053 or www.growingpeacefulfamilies.com.