Staying Calm As a Parent
Calm is a superpower. Activating it doesn’t involve gamma rays, being bitten by a radioactive spider or melding with an alien. Just begin with the intention of being calmer. Start small, with one thing, and build from there. Calm requires effort and planning, and the discipline to continue, even – and especially – when it is elusive.
Ever thought to yourself, “If my kids would just settle down, relax and do what they’re told, I wouldn’t have to get angry and yell at them to get things done!”
It’s easy to put the responsibility on others for our own issues.
The truth is, no matter how hard you try to “make” others do things, you have control over only one person: yourself.
Take charge of yourself first, and when you are calmer, you will be a positive influence on those around you.
Consider this quote by L.R. Knost: “When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.”
Knost, an award-winning author and social justice activist, is the founder and director of Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources, a children’s rights advocacy and family consulting group.
She also is the editor of Holistic Parenting Magazine.
How do you develop this Superpower of Calm?
- Commit to being calmer.
- Be good to yourself. Spend time with people who are good to you. Read good books.
- Find a calming practice that suits you: meditation, yoga or another means of self-quieting. Make it an essential part of your day. Spend at least 20 minutes once a day. Twice a day is better. Set a timer and breathe deeply.
- Find a partner if you can and encourage one another.
- Listen to your own needs and care for them.
- Identify your imaginary Pause Button. Use it to remind yourself that you are choosing calm over chaos.
- Practice. Practice. Practice.
- Celebrate your successes and let your unsuccessful moments teach you how to improve.
- Start now. The new year is an ideal time for making changes.
The rewards for activating the Power of Calm may seem small, but they are noticeable and they grow over time.
That’s what makes it Super.
No matter what happens, persevere. You are becoming “the change you wish to see” in your family.
Dr. Lesley Iwinski is the mother of three grown children, a family physician and owner of Growing Peaceful Families, LLC. She offers classes, workshops and seminars.
Info: (859) 333-3053 or www.growingpeacefulfamilies.com.