The Power of Family Storytelling

You’re re-telling one of your children’s favorite stories about something that happened when you were growing up. It’s one of your children’s favorites, and they have heard it dozens of times. You reach the end of your tale only to hear them say, “Tell it again!”

Reminiscing and telling stories about your own childhood can bring your family history to life, and can also be one of the greater gifts you can give your child.

As a bonus, you are unlikely to ever find as appreciative an audience.

If the sustaining narrative is one of family members facing challenges and overcoming them, children get the message that they are part of something bigger than themselves.

They are also likely to be more resilient.

For that reason, stories that describe hardship or sadness are as important as those that are funny and have happy endings.

Allowing opportunities for questions and taking time to explore feelings in the tales you tell help children develop emotional intelligence.

Researchers who study storytelling also found that children whose parents shared stories about their family histories develop a stronger self-concept and higher self-esteem.

Not only that, they have better coping skills, suffer less from anxiety and depression, and feel more connected to others.

Here are some tips:

• Tell stories in a warm and responsive way
• Use your voice and facial expressions to act out some of the parts
• Answer questions as they come up
• Share the feelings experienced by the characters
• Include tales of your own children’s younger days
• Encourage your children’s stories, even the simple ones such as, “Fell down.”

You can also use some questions from the Do You Know? Scale, used by researcher Marshall Duke at Emory University: Do you know…

… where people in our family grew up? (mother, father, grandparents, etc.)
… some of the jobs your parents had when they were younger?
… who you most resemble?
… where your last name came from?
… injuries or illnesses your parents had when they were young?
(For a full list of DYK questions, visit bit.ly/2GBTfRX.)

One of the beautiful things about building your family’s sense of identity and cohesion through storytelling is how portable it is, and how easy it is to use.

You can be snuggled in bed, riding in the car, sitting around the campfire or sharing a meal.

What family story will you share with your children today?

Dr. Lesley Iwinski is the mother of three grown children, a family physician and owner of Growing Peaceful Families, LLC. She offers classes, workshops and seminars.
Info: (859) 333-3053 or www.growingpeacefulfamilies.com.