Family Health/ Positive Parenting

Parenting Beliefs Impact Child Development

Mandy’s 3-year-old son misbehaves. She believes he is trouble. She has an overwhelming and exhausting belief that she needs to control him, because if she doesn’t, she will be a bad parent.

No matter how much she punishes him, his behavior does not improve but instead gets worse. She is at her wit’s end.

Raymond’s 3-year-old son misbehaves. Raymond believes in his son’s goodness and knows that his son’s behavior is a primitive way of asking for help. 

His misbehavior reflects his discouragement. Raymond believes he can meet his son’s needs while he guides him and teaches him how to communicate and meet his own needs as he grows up. 

What makes Mandy’s son and Raymond’s son different? The answer is, nothing. Mandy and Raymond are married and their son’s name is Jason.

What you believe influences how you feel and what you do, so what you believe matters a great deal.

In addition, what you believe may change based on what you learn. The results can be transformational.

Here’s what we know about developing children, from birth:

  • They need warm, engaging interactions with responsive and accepting caregivers
  • Their environment has a significant impact on their brain that can last a lifetime
  • When they feel better, they do better
  • They need caregivers to set limits that are firm, kind and empathic
  • Children who are allowed to express their feelings and who feel heard and understood are better able to regulate themselves

When you replace your old beliefs with more accurate ones that are based on new knowledge, you can transform the way you see your children and your own role in their development.

What can you do if you want to learn more?

As the old saying goes, “The problem is not what you know. It’s what you know that just ain’t so!”

Dr. Lesley Iwinski is the mother of three grown children, a family physician and owner of Growing Peaceful Families, LLC. She offers classes, workshops and seminars.

Info: (859) 333-3053 or www.growingpeacefulfamilies.com