Lexington Family/ Positive Parenting

Positive Parenting – How to Ease Back-to-School Transition

by Lesley Iwinski

Back to school preparations and rituals can be daunting for children of all ages. What can parents do to make the transition smoother and easier?

First, give yourself the compassion and understanding that you need. Fill your own cup so that you have enough to share with your family.
The most important foundation for a smooth transition is your relationship with your children, no matter their age.
Here are some other ways to strengthen that relationship in anticipation of all the bumps that will inevitably come.

Offer:

  • Time to be fully present in the moment, whether having fun or being quiet.
  • Openness to all his feelings
  • Listening all the way through without giving advice or solving the problem
  • Willingness to understand her position and point of view
  • Calm, loving support

For Preschool, Kindergarten and Elementary School:

  • Set up a routine and stick with it. Predictability and clear expectations make it easier for everyone. If you can be ready before your children get up, it will be easier to be calm and friendly.
  • Get everything ready the night before including clothes and shoes
  • Provide ample time for the transition from wake-up time to school.
  • Make sure your child gets at least 10 hours of sleep every night.
  • Give notice by marking the time down until departure.
  • Script your expectation clearly: “You have time for three more bites of pancake. Then I will say, ‘Let’s go!’”
  • Have a ritual such as a hug and kiss or a high five or fist bump as you leave.
  • Empathize with protests, saying, “You would like to stay home and play. That would be so nice! We could build a fort. Maybe we can do that this evening!”

For Middle and High School.
These children want more autonomy. What middle-schooler wants to hear, “It’s time to brush your teeth. Now it’s time to eat your breakfast. Now it’s time to…”

  • Let her know that as tired as she is of hearing you issue commands, you are also tired of nagging and would like to stop.
    Say, “I don’t want to bug you. I think you are ready to be in charge of your own morning. How would you like it to go?” The only nonnegotiable will be the time she must be ready. Be prepared for a few tweaks – agreements are rarely perfect on the first go-round. Just keep your child in the problem-solving process rather than handing down new edicts.
  • Middle and high-schoolers talk less. Don’t take it personally. “That was a long day at school. You must be tired and I understand if you don’t feel like talking right now.” Offer a snack or to check in later.

Here’s to a smooth and happy transition to school!

Dr. Lesley Iwinski is the mother of three grown children, a family physician and owner of Growing Peaceful Families, LLC. She offers classes, workshops and seminars.

Info: (859) 333-3053 or
www.growingpeacefulfamilies.com.