Create More Order, Less Mess & Less Chaos

If you find yourself in the weeks after the holidays living with toy overload, you are not alone. You didn’t intend for this to happen, but here you are: knee deep and tripping over toys. What can you do to create more order, less mess and less chaos?

Step one is to talk with your family about a Family Project or Family Challenge. Working as a team, you will be looking for toys to give away to those in need, broken toys to dispose of and to organize and keep the ones your children really like to play with.

It is good to do this once or twice a year – the start of summer break and before Thanksgiving are good times.

It is important to include yourself and go through the process with your own toy-equivalents, even going first and offering an example.

Here are some suggestions:

• If your children are very young, you can do an initial sorting by yourself. If your children are older, you will want to have them sort through the toys with you.
• Have a place (shelves, toy box, etc.) set aside to put toys away. Labeling these with words or pictures can help children put things away more easily.
• Start with some cardboard boxes and a trash bag or can. Label one box “Keep,” one box “Give Away,” and the trash can “Pitch.”
• Do one area at a time and move through each one at a comfortable pace.
• Work with your child. You can hold each item up, asking, “Keep, Pitch or Give?” and let them decide. Or, they can hold them up, decide and toss them to you to put in the appropriate location. Most children appreciate company, but there may be a few who would prefer to do the job on their own. Choose what works best.
• You might also want to save a few special toys to bring out for future children, for guests or to save for grandchildren, but saving everything for posterity should not be the goal here.
• Some parents put toys “on vacation.” They are put out of sight and then brought out later when another set of toys go “on vacation.” A lot of the joy of toys is the novelty, so this is a great way to recycle.
• Ahead of time, it’s okay to remove any toys that are broken or that the children have outgrown, but consider holding on to that box for a while to avoid accidentally giving away something that you didn’t know was important.

Special challenges:

• If you have a child who isn’t willing to part with anything at all, you can empathize and place a limit at the same time. Decide what you believe a reasonable number of toys is, and let them choose that many to keep. Be open to negotiation.
• If there is resistance, empathize and ask the children to suggest a day and time for the sorting that they prefer.
• If you or your child feels overwhelmed, break the job down into small pieces, e.g. half an hour on Saturday mornings or after church. Set a timer. Play their favorite music or jam with your own psych-up tunes. Keep your own mood positive and light. Ask for ideas on how you can celebrate together when the job is done.
• If your child strongly resists giving away a toy even if you think it is junk, don’t force it. Your child’s ability to trust you and to know you understand their feelings is more important than this one item.
• Be patient. The day will come when they are ready.

Dr. Lesley Iwinski is the mother of three grown children, a family physician and owner of Growing Peaceful Families, LLC. She offers classes, workshops and seminars.

Info: (859) 333-3053 or www.growingpeacefulfamilies.com